Pizza Pie Cafe

This blog is solely for the purpose of neutralizing (not entirely negating) the bad rap the Pizza Pie Cafe in Provo has with the few reviews there are online.

The biggest "beef" I have with the reviews of Pizza Pie Cafe online are the people who are "disappointed" with the quality/taste/whatever of the food. People, you are paying $7. You are paying only slightly more than a Little Caesar's pizza with one topping. What exactly is it that you expect? I don't by any means intend to convey that the pizza is, as they claim, comparable to "iffy frozen pizza from a grocery store".

The food is good. It's not great or amazing, but it's definitely worth what you pay. I'd go back. The moral of this pointless blog is: don't expect California Pizza Kitchen if you pay for a $7 buffet.

fawk_novat0

Let the poor help themselves

Ok, so I finally finished my English paper tonight and submitted it... It freaking sucked. I had no time to make sure it wasn't just rambling, so it was one big ramble about letting poor people help themselves. Here is a copy if you would like to read it.

Taking Care of Our Own

“Does everyone on earth have an equal right to an equal share of its resources?” (Hardin 360).

One of the largest conflicts between morality and science is the one given the least amount of debate in the public forum. Should we allow human beings to die? To what extent are we morally obligated to preserve the lives of others? They are questions that are now thought to be ridiculous, as the human mentality has shifted from pragmatism to humanitarianism. Attempting to help the poor is a dangerous, unethical practice.

Arrogant human beings have created the popular beliefs that man is somehow above all other animals, and therefore more noble and deserving of all other species. Few would argue that in the animal kingdom all resources ought to be equally divided to assure a long life to all animals. In fact, human practice is to eliminate members of a specific population of animals as it nears it carrying capacity. Nonetheless, the belief remains widespread that all men are entitled to an equal share of the earth’s resources.

Thomas Malthus wrote in An Essay on the Principle of Population, “The constant effort towards population, which is found to act even in the most vicious societies, increases the number of people before the means of subsistence are increased. The food therefore which before supported seven millions must now be divided among seven millions and a half or eight millions.” (313). As Malthus illustrates, man tends to increase much faster than resources. Most would agree that there is a limit to the number of people the world can sustain. Despite this knowledge, many continue to justify efforts to help sustain those who cannot provide for themselves. This assistance to the poor violates one of the most basic laws of nature.

Charles Darwin wrote about natural selection, which most of us know as survival of the fittest. Darwin argued that the animals most fit for survival (i.e. faster, smarter, stronger) are favored by nature. If this is so, why can we not say the same for humans? Man is careful to monitor the number of animals and control the population. When a population grows too big for the resources of the environment, hunting licenses are issued and animals are killed. Rarely is effort made to import food to change the region to be more suitable for the animals. When the human race is faced with the same dilemma, the problem becomes the environment rather than the species to which it is home. The thought of allowing humans who cannot be supported by their own forces to die is instantly considered inhumane. Humans have the mentality that they have a right to live. Man finds himself incapable of abstaining to intervene on behalf of those who cannot provide for themselves, but has no such problem acting against other organisms to benefit the species as a whole.

One major problem of assisting the poor is that they take much more than they could ever give. Thomas Malthus wrote that man’s reasoning, “Asks him whether he may not bring beings into the world for whom he cannot provide.” (312). Aiding the poor appears to take this consideration out of the mindset of those who reproduce in poor countries. Garrett Harden establishes this argument in his essay, Lifeboat Ethics: The Case against Helping the Poor, by using a metaphor of a lifeboat in the decision to aid the poor. He compared the rich people to those inside of a lifeboat, and the poor people to others drowning outside of the lifeboat. He wrote, “The people inside the lifeboats are doubling in numbers every 87 years; those swimming around outside are doubling, on average, every 35 years, more than twice as fast as the rich.” (361). This shows the negligence of the poor in choosing to bear offspring that cannot easily be supported. Hardin draws from this information that, “since the world’s resources are dwindling, the difference in prosperity between the rich and the poor can only increase.” (361).

Noting the dilemma, we must wonder what the proper solution is. Should we attempt to increase the availability of resources to a level that will easily sustain rich and poor alike? Sadly, many have chosen this option as desirable. Proponents of helping the poor often argue that since the rich can afford to do it, they should do it. Nothing is said of the poor’s ability to change life patterns to benefit themselves. One who suggests that poor people should remain poor is labeled conceited by society. It is much easier for the rich to give of what they have to help the poor than it is to accept that the poor must do something to help themselves. Again, were it any other animal, it would be commonly held and believed that the animal that could not provide for itself must inevitably die. By simply being more conservative in reproduction, changing location, or working a little harder, some of the problems of those considered poor might be lessened or even solved, but to acknowledge that poverty may be fault of the individual is politically appalling.

If we evaluate the costs of attempts to provide the poor, we see that it is neither environmentally or fiscally beneficial to do so. Desire for an increased crop yield has lead to a new enterprise of developing and applying pesticides that are harmful to human health to fields across the United States. One such chemical, DDT, was so controversial that Rachel Carson took it as the subject of her book Silent Spring. Carson’s book examined the many harms to the environment and even to human beings themselves by using pesticides. In Silent Spring, Carson wrote the following, “Yet is our real problem not one of overproduction? Our farms, despite measures to remove acreages from production and to pay farmers not to produce, have yielded such a staggering excess of crops that the American taxpayer in 1962 is paying out more than one billion dollars a year as the total carrying cost of the surplus-food storage program.” (424). In addition to the fiscal costs of increasing production, she touches the environmental and physical dangers of the pesticides used to boost crop yield. Carson classifies pesticides as poisons and says, “If the Bill of Rights contains no guarantee that a citizen shall be secure against lethal poisons distributed either by private individuals or by public officials, it is surely only because our forefathers, despite their considerable wisdom and foresight, could conceive of no such problem.” (426).

Examining the costs of helping the poor, as Carson has, sheds a new light on the subject. People that live in rich countries are expected not only to give of their money, but also to damage the environment where they live. This leads us to the conclusion that the poor cannot be helped without also harming the very people who are doing so. The only logical reason to help the poor, then, is to redistribute wealth slowly until all resources and wealth are equitably divided between all people. As Hardin points out, “We cannot safely divide the wealth equitably among all peoples so long as people reproduce at different rates. To do so would guarantee that our grandchildren and everyone else’s grandchildren would have only a ruined world to inhabit.” (368). Hardin also warns that, “To be generous with one’s own possessions is quite different from being so generous with those of posterity.” (368). Therefore, even with purely humanitarian intentions, the poor could not be helped at the expense of our own prosperity. The question about ethics is to be answered, whom do we give from and whom do we take from? Since no one of us is in a position to decide who among many should be the recipient and who should be the giver, we cannot determine who is more deserving.

We are thus placed in the same situation we are placed in when deciding how to deal with wild animals. Before we give of our wealth and resources to people in poor countries, we must decide whether we would rather guarantee a high quality of life to our children or guarantee them a lower quality of life in a more populated world. The amount of resources and wealth are fixed. We cannot give without taking from another. Is there enough evidence to suggest that man should truly give of his own possessions to provide to another? Many cite morality or religion, which all include non-scientific abstract ideals. The prudent way to act is illustrated in the biblical story of Joseph and the famine of Egypt. “And the famine was over all the face of the earth: And Joseph opened all the storehouses, and sold[1] unto the Egyptians; and the famine waxed sore in the land of Egypt.” (Genesis 64:56).

The Egyptians had previously built up storage of food in preparation for a famine. This created a “safety factor” the likes of which Hardin explains in his metaphor of the boat. He assumes a boat with a capacity for 60 people, with 50 on board already. He states:

“Since the boat has an unused excess capacity of 10 more passengers, we could admit just 10 more to it… If we do let an extra 10 into our lifeboat, we will have lost our ‘safety factor,’ an engineering principle of critical importance. For example, if we don’t leave room for excess capacity as a safety factor in our countries agriculture, a new plant disease or a bad change in the weather could have disastrous consequences.” (361).

The Egyptians understood this principle well. They built their reserve specifically to have a safety factor. The Egyptians also understood that something cannot be given for nothing. In a time of dire need, they used their reserves not only to feed themselves, but also to profit from their opportunity.

Proponents of assistance to the poor argue that we should not deny them the help we can provide because they cannot help the circumstances under which they are raised. To them, my reply is, “Get out and yield your place to others.” (Hardin 361). Take upon yourself the circumstances of their poverty and allow them to live with what you have. Give of your own rather than taking from others who understand that there is no such obligation to help the poor. We must understand that, “Nothing wastes so rapidly as liberality, for even whilst you exercise it you lose power to do so, and so become either poor or despised.” (Machiavelli 133). Helping the poor is just that, liberality. Our power to do so is decreased in the very commission of the act. We must not destroy our safety factor by allowing more people into our boat, for, as Machiavelli would say, our space to do so becomes less each time. In accordance with Machiavelli, Hardin also warns that if we admit everyone outside the lifeboat, “The boat swamps, everyone drowns. Complete justice, complete catastrophe.” (360).

Attempting to help the poor is a dangerous, unethical practice. It assumes that man is the judge of which life is more valuable, rather than nature, or chance as some would believe it. It forces man to choose between his own posterity and that of a distant stranger. As illustrated by the many authors, it is indeed harmful to rich nations to give of their own money and environment in order to advance that of the poor. The only ethical way to solve the problem is as the Chinese proverb: “Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for the rest of his days.” We must help the poor by refusing to help the poor. We must return to Darwinism for the answer. Nature’s laws, not man’s, ought to determine who lives and who does not. Natural selection must be applied equally to humans as it is to all other organisms on this planet. Failure to do so may give complete justice, but cannot do so without bringing complete catastrophe.

---

[1] Italics added for emphasis

MOVE

The KSL comment boards here in Utah serve many purposes. Some use them to launch their comedy writing career, some try to offer arguments for or against a certain issue (until here we're good), and some choose to use it as a forum to complain about Mormons in Utah.

To all of those who use the KSL boards to gripe about Mormons, I'll let you in on a little secret... You live in the wrong state. Utah was founded by... You guessed it... Mormons. Incidentally, most of them stayed and had children. If you don't like Mormons, or have a beef with the church itself, maybe you should seek residence elsewhere. I can name 49 states that have less members of the LDS church than Utah, so you will have a plethora of options.

So please, stuckinutahmiserablebecauseihatemormons, log off KSL, pack up your computer and find a new place to live where you can dedicate your time to a job, hobby, or maybe even a family and feel obligated to complain about the predominant religion in the area.

Brainwash

I am going to make one very ridiculous and abusive comparison to start things off. There are two men, political leaders to be more precise, who have managed to completely brainwash enough of their followers past the point of logic to accomplish their goals: Adolf Hitler and Barack Hussein Obama.

Yep, I said it. The large majority of Obama supporters who have come out of the woodwork follow blindly and without question much as the supporters of the National Socialist German Worker's Party. The promises made and plans laid out by President-elect Obama fall just barely short of creating a National Socialist American Idiot Party.

I suppose you could call me old fashioned, I believe in what the founding fathers believed in. At the founding of the nation if you did not work, you starved. I believe in the constitution, and the constitutional process. I believe in fairness and equality; of opportunity, not of results.

I am sick of hearing that the economy is Bush's fault. Let me educate those of you who have said this. Our national government is built with a system of checks and balances, giving each branch of government only a portion of the power. The executive branch was purposefully created as the inferior, and given the least amount of influence in lawmaking. Any legal decisions as to the economy or tax code is made by the legislative branch, which I would remind you has been controlled by the Democrats in these last two years, which not coincidentally have been the steepest part of the plunge.

Do not misinterpret that to mean that I blame all economic problems on Democrats, that would be ignorant. The increased gas prices have nothing to do with any politician, they are a direct result of Hurricane Katrina and the refineries that were put out of commission. The housing crisis has nothing to do with Bush, it is the responsibility of those who passed legislation encouraging lending to those who could not pay it back simply to avoid being "discriminatory." The loss of jobs in the United States IS, however, definitely traceable to our legislators and the increased tax burdens on large corporations that make it increasingly lucrative to operate offshore.

There has been much complaining about the "unfair" tax burdens and claims that the highest income bracket should pay more money in taxes. Once again, the large majority of US citizens have no idea what is going on tax wise, and as a parrot mimic that which they hear come from one they trust from his extensive political career as a community organizer. Even after the bush tax cuts, the highest income bracket was paying 8 percent more than any other bracket, and 18 percent more than most of the families considered to be "Middle class." To say that they have got it easy is a lie. Their cut was only 3 percent total of what they normally paid, leaving them still to pay double the percentage of a working-class family. It is the highest income bracket that shoulders the large majority of the government's income from taxes.

Health care has emerged as a large issue also, with Obama rallying support for a national [socialist] health care system. Senator Obama is so generous with taxpayer money that he will force all insurance agencies to accept all persons regardless of pre-existing conditions. With all due respect, if it is that important to him, why does he not take a portion of his 4.2 million dollar income from last year to start an insurance agency that does what he proposes? Simple, he knows that it will not be profitable, so he is going to roll it out nationally so that you and I can pay the bill on every one's health care. What a generous fellow.

To conclude, I would like to address the comments made by countless numbers of US citizens that we should rally behind Obama and support him. I find it quite funny that now that Obama is going to be at the helm it is time to come together. It wasn't time to come together when we went into Iraq, it wasn't time to come together when the surge in troops was proposed, and it wasn't time to come together to reform social security. Only now, that the democratic party is in charge, is it time to come together. Only now, that one of the least experienced politicians in history is leading the policy decisions, is it time to put aside our differences; and it is only now, that a man who served as senator for 35 years who did not know that the Vice President of the United States had the constitutional mandate to preside over the Senate at all times (rather than just in time of a tie vote) has been elected vice president, that it is time to be united.

Barack Obama has the same opportunity that I give any politician to disappoint me. It is my belief, based on the information he has provided in his blueprint for change, and his lack of substance in a presidential campaign that he will be quick to deliver in the realm of political shortcoming.

I plead to those of you on both sides of the political arena who talk without knowing any facts or even what those you claim to support say, to please shut up. It would be especially wise of you not to try to argue with someone without knowing any facts, opting instead to spew back illogical political rhetoric.

fawk_novat0

Way to go down

If I were a murder suspect, this is how I would go down.
Congratulations Raymundo, you are my new anti-hero.

Social networking sites... And the people that ruin them.

My latest rant is triggered by no more than a few minutes jumping between facebook and myspace. People, please follow these guidelines for your profile:

1. Keep your clothes on. If you want to be naked on the Internet, buy a domain and at least make money off of it.

2. Hold the camera at a right angle. If I have to turn my head to look at your picture, it means you didn't take it the right way. I will grant you a few degrees of leeway, but if it is clearly crooked and you post it, you are a moron.

3. Don't say you are down to earth. If you have to go out of your way to mention that you are a really down to earth person, you obviously aren't.

Immediate compliance is requested. Thank you.

fawk_novat0

Give me a break

Ok, this just pissed me off.

Fast Food Moratorium

Apparently the people of Los Angeles cannot decide on their own what they should and should not eat. Thank goodness we have the government to intervene in our eating habits. Who the hell are these people? Do they seriously believe that if they do this LA is all of the sudden going to be not fat? Ridiculous. Someone should storm that meeting and throw vegetables at these high and mighty retards. God bless America, the only place in the world where people THAT stupid are granted political power.

fawk_novat0

I will not soon forget the events of this Saturday’s warped tour. The two blisters on my nose that somehow manage to be in my peripheral vision at all times will not allow me to forget the great music that I heard. With each periodic oozing of puss I am reminded of the similar wetness which saturated my hair and clothing. Anyways, this blog entry is less about me being able to squeeze moisture out of my shirt like a sponge, and more about the great music that I was exposed to. Of course there were bands there who I was familiar with, and sadly I will not be plugging them today, but the new bands—or at least new to me—get a plug on the blog that is widely circulated in 3 cities with a total of 3 readers. Check out their websites and music.

Midnight to twelve -m212.com

Anberlin - Anberlin.com

1997 - partylikeits1997.com

Relient K - relientk.com

Defy tomorrow - myspace.com/defytomorrow

Tickle me pink - ticklemepinkrock.com

And 1 that I was intrigued by but did not check out

Dose of adolescence - myspace.com/doseofadolescence

CHECK THEM OUT!

fawk_novat0

What a Rush.

For English we were supposed to write a Personal Narrative Essay highlighting an experience in our life. I chose the time I was hit by a car. I apologize for the profanity at the beginning, but what else are you supposed to think when you are hit by a car? Enjoy.

Oh shit.


As fast as this thought shoots through my head, time seems to be frozen. I envision walking around my body, which is about to receive a cold embrace from a 2,000 pound vehicle. It is a strange car, appearing to be some hybrid of a Geo Metro and a Chevy Trailblazer. Only now does it cross my mind that I should not have stepped in front of traffic without a clear line of vision in both directions. This split second of examination is enough to sway me to believe that I will not beat this car. This is going to hurt.

The streets of Ecuador are crazy. This is no surprise to me; I’ve been here for twenty months now. You see, I have a small problem. The rules do not apply to me. I am too smart to carefully examine the streets before I cross. While others may wait for an opening in traffic and clear view of oncoming traffic, I simply look down at the street where I want to cross. If I see no lights, it’s a go.

White light fills my vision. Am I imagining time’s freeze? I can’t be. It’s too real.

I must be dead. No one survives what I just experienced. As my vision comes in to focus, I realize I am in the middle of the street. Dead or not, I summon all of my strength to sprint to the other side of the road. The jump over the curb was almost enough to make my legs buckle under the pressure.

Determined to dramatize the situation, I roll onto the grass much like an action hero would in the movies. A moment of epiphany seizes me, and shakes me as if to scream, “You are alive!” I am alive. I am invincible.

The screams around me seem to intensify all pain in my body. With each utterance of “¡Lo mataron!” a shot of pain goes through my body, contradicting their vocalized belief that I am dead. “¡Ya! ¡Callense!” I shout to demand silence from the roughly one hundred faces that look on. Half of the crowd is offended at such a rude outburst at their supposed caring and turn their backs to leave. “Well, I hate to burst your bubble,” I mutter under my breath and laugh as I watch the majority walk away, “but I am not dead.”

Knowing that I am superhuman for surviving such an incident, I imagine myself in the pages of a comic book. Each of the past few seconds is documented panel by panel. There are oval bubbles reflecting my thoughts and words.

Each painting uses such vibrant colors as to make you think that this place is beautiful. No self-respecting artist would ever waste his efforts to depict “La loma de Puengasi,” this settlement built on a hill littered with all variety of garbage. This place is as ugly as my wounded face, which is now swollen and scratched down the left side, letting just enough blood seep out to make the wound visible in the dim light.

From the crowd, one man comes into view. His face is warped by disbelief and curiosity. He carefully examines the scene with his moustache at a 45 degree angle with his chin, rising from left to right. Our eyes meet, and fear instantly conquers his face. “Doxey?!”

It’s Jaime. Unsure that I can express my state vocally, I begin to laugh to reassure him. Laughing is the easiest response, and needs no Spanish translation. He tells me that I’m crazy. He said the same thing when I jumped inside the bull fighting ring. Even that long red cape would not have been enough to protect me against this much larger, faster beast. He must think that I did this one on purpose.

“I’m going to call an ambulance,” says Jaime.

I laugh harder to make my objection clear, and roll back and forth. The grass under me crunches as my body rocks. The rocking brings the small bag propped under the small of my back to my attention. At least I still have my books. I’m always the optimist.

Enough time has passed that I am convinced I cannot stand. The crowd shares the belief. Two uniformed officers standing to my right continue examining me. I can hear them whisper, “He’s a gringo” to one another. I thought it might be fun to play dead just to see how they would treat a dead gringo, but decided that might take away from the story of my human game of Frogger.

“Here comes the finale” I thought to myself. I concentrated all my strength to stand. Determined to continue the theatrics, I attempt to do so in a rocking motion. One… Two… Three… All the way back, I rock and throw myself forward. I firmly plant my feet on the ground and admire the majesty of my conquest. If ever there was a time for a soundtrack of life this was it. I feel the success rush to my head. It feels strangely like blood leaving my head, and likewise leaves me light headed. The hero falls. There I am once again on my back staring at the sky. There is a lesson to be learned here, a lesson that twenty-one years of my mother’s warnings was not enough to teach. Rather than worry, I laugh again softly. Convinced to share my new found knowledge with the world, I raise my voice and proclaim, “Look both ways before you cross the street!”

OC remix

Ok, before the two of you who read this think I have gone fru fru and started watching the TV show...

You are right.

That is not the point, however. This blog is about www.ocremix.org which I have found to be quite the source for good music. This started back a while ago when Mitchell and I attended "video games live" and they gave out a cd that had like 500 remixes on it to the second place frogger girl or whatever was going on. Anyways, I took it upon myself to check it out but not until a couple of weeks ago. Recently I have found that my iTunes has grown quite a bit and I am almost constantly listening to remixes of video game songs. This entry is not to revel in my fathood or gloat my nerdiness, (although it more than certainly does so without even trying) but to give it a free plug so that one day if my blog is reviewed on some website or TV show as the least read blog ever OC remix gets at least a bit of free advertising.

The OC stands for overclocked, and although the name "overclocked remix" may stimulate thoughts of wicked fast techno songs I have found most of the compositions to be nothing of the sort. So, if your iPod bores you or you just really like video game music head on over and download some music- it's all free. The best place to start is here.

Oh yes, and me love you long time.

fawk_novat0

Dear film makers

In many senses I feel that I am a modern man. I enjoy the pleasures that society has to offer. New products, tastes, experiences, and sounds heighten my senses. Indeed you may say that I revel in the new and exciting.

There is, however, one area in which I remain old fashioned.

Zombies.

The new zombie movies are becoming more than a little lame. Let us examen the defnition as supplied by Merriam-Webster dictionary.

zom·bie

1usually zombi the supernatural power that according to voodoo belief may enter into and reanimate a dead body


2 a person held to resemble the so-called walking dead

These definitions say nothing about mutant strains of DNA or diseases. Film makers, please return to the roots of zombie-ism. They eat people, yes. You seem to understand that. but they are also risen from the dead, not just sick. Thanks

fawk_novat0

VGL

Wow.

I have to say I was truly impressed with last night's Video Games Live performance. I'm sure we all imagined a large group of teenage to middle-aged men who had not left their parent's basement since the release of Halo 3. (or Call of Duty 4 depending on your cup of tea) As we arrived (we being myself and my Fat Angry White Kid brother themilton) I was actually worried that I was under dressed. As you can imagine there were few college students dressed to kill, but I was a little worried to see some of the older crowd dressed as if they were going to a run of the mill symphony performance.

There was nothing too eye-catching about the display tables set up outside of the main auditorium which could be attributed to either my arrival only half an hour before the scheduled start time, or just an over all lame guitar hero competition with no one playing on expert. The merchandise table did make me a little jealous and sad that I had not brought cash. The Advent Rising CD seemed to taunt me from the table.

The first arrangement was a little too old for me... Recognizing only the sounds from pong and joust. I was a little embarrassed. The lighting tricks were annoying. You see, someone decided they were too cheap to spring the extra 6 bucks to not be in the balcony, and the lights seemed to be pointing directly into my eyes. I was surprised, to say the least, that these light bursts were not met with screams as those who had seen no light for such a long time met sudden death. I found myself hissing as some sort of monster whose life was in danger. (that last statement is neither here nor there)

Of the music I have no real complaints aside from being a little disappointed with the Metal of Honor arrangement. I think it was a great idea to incorporate the footage from the history channel, but the music selection I did not think was the best they could have done given the extensive soundtrack for the Metal of Honor games. To play a Zelda arrangement without including the Ballad of the Windfish is borderline heresy, but the rest of the arrangement was good enough to fend of the urge to truly gripe about the absence of the BEST SONG OF THE FRANCHISE.

Martin Lueng was an excellent addition to the program. Other than his small stalling each of the two times he played the Final Fantasy fanfare music it was probably the best thing I have ever heard out of a piano. His follow-up Mario brothers bit was equally as comical as it was talented and impressive.

In my opinion the reaction sparked by the frogger competition was ridiculous. There were more cheers and screams for the "Ogden frogger champion" than for the performers or music itself.

Tommy Tallarico kind of confused me with his first guitar. It looked like a toy, but he played it well. The encore was a little strange and seemed to be scripted. To be honest I don't think the reaction by the audience deserved an encore even though we all wanted it.

Tommy ended the show by saying "See you next year," a comment that I believed caused many of the people in the audience to feel something warm and special that they had not felt since playing Dead or Alive volleyball.

To the whole VGL crowd, I honestly hope you get a better reception at Abravanel Hall; you deserve it. I can only hope that unlike the prospect of a promised Advent Rising trilogy which failed to deliver that Tallarico is true to his word and we will, indeed, see him next year.

fawk_novat0

I have thought, Mr Tiles, and now I'm flaming.

Before you read this blog please turn your attention for a short moment to the following link in which Mr Neal Tiles, President of the channel G4, has to say about his network and himself.

Concessions:
I will concede to you, Mr. Tiles, that post-merger ratings and the growth in the past two years has generated a large increase in ratings. I concede to you also that you are running a business and not a "public service."

I will now proceed to use words commonly heard on G4 itself to explain the large increase in gaming lately to explore the flaws with this channel.

First and foremost:
I do not necessarily think that all G4 programming is inherently bad. I actually enjoy most of it, including Ninja Warrior which is about neither video games nor technology. I also believe that in the past 2 years G4 has come a long way. 2 years ago when I would tune in it was like being on hold with the phone company; hearing (and in this case watching) the same thing over and over waiting to get to what I was originally after. Re-runs (and cheap cleavage) plagued the station. I am pleasantly surprised to see a large influx of daily programming and being able to tune in without seeing the same thing twice or three times in the same 24 hour period.

Now:
I do not think G4 is achieving at all it's potential. It seems that almost daily the advance of video games to the mainstream media and large public masses is made mention of on one or more program of G4, even if it is the dimwitted Adam vs. Adam. It seems to me, however that they neglect their own comments about how gaming is extending to more people. Tiles argues that they cannot simply be about games and technology all the time, although he would like to be. He cites that the target age of G4 viewers is males between the ages of 18 and 34, but in so doing largely neglects a large part of those who play and or buy video games. At theesa.com (the website of the Entertainment Software Association) they state that:

• Sixty-seven percent of American heads of households play computer and video games.
• Eighty-five percent of all games sold in 2007 were rated "E" for Everyone, "T" for Teen, or "E10+" for Everyone 10+. (not generally the games that appeal to their target audience)
• Thirty-six percent of American parents say they play computer and video games. Further, 80 percent of gamer parents say they play video games with their kids. Sixty-six percent feel that playing games has brought their families closer together.
• Thirty-eight percent of all game players are women. In fact, women over the age of 18 represent a significantly greater portion of the game-playing population (31%) than boys age 17 or younger (20%).
• In 2007, 24 percent of Americans over the age of 50 played video games, an increase from nine percent in 1999.

Thus, while G4 claims that it would not get the support, it seems that many outside of their target audience IS being neglected by the decision to not be a purely gaming and tech channel. Many of the shows that they put on actually seem to push away those outside of the target audience, i.e. anything originally in Japanese and dubbed in English. In their defense "Wired for sex" and "Cinematech NE" probably attracts the male portion of those over 50 that play video games.

There are very few programs left that take a look at the making of games or as a documentary of the most popular games. There are no "how to" for computer programs or multimedia editing (something which might attract the EXACT audience they want.)

I suppose that mostly I have just been disappointed with G4 catering to those who are not really their target audience. Ratings may be going up, and that's great, but please Mr. Tiles do not insult us by telling us that your target audience are males between 18 and 34 and then air crap like cheaters and cops to keep it afloat. His defense cites that FX was once an all women's channel and that Spike used to be TNN (The Nashville network) but that eventual evolution was necessary to become what they are today. The only reply I have to that (noting that cheaters and cops are among the highest rated shows on G4) is, "If you want to be white trash TV you are well on your way." The next G4 premier "Extreme makeover: trailer edition"

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My vision for a crime free America...

Warning: the views and opinions expressed in this entry are not necessarily mine or those of my subsidiaries or affiliates. The comments are made to incite anger and shock among the general public.

I recently learned of the existence of "The World Islands" located off the coast of Dubai. They are man made islands in the shape of the separate continents of the world. I began to reflect upon private islands of which I have heard tell. Disney has Castaway Cay (Caribbean), Mel Gibson owns Mago Island (Fiji), Ted Turner owns St. Phyllis Island (South Carolina), Gene Hackman owns an Island in British Columbia Canada, and on privateislandsonline.com you can even purchase your own.

After a few short moments of wondering what I would do with my own island, (and then quickly dismissing the thought as Haitian zombies began hunting me across my island) I wondered... "Why has the government never bought one as a prison?" It was a moment of genius that could only be actualized in the shower; but it wasn't.

Now before you begin to think that I am light on crime, deprive yourself the notion of a warm, tropical Bahamian island. I'm talking about an Island in a land where no one in their right mind would ever go... Unfortunately there are no islands in Nebraska; thus we resort to the second worse place... Canada. Now when we take a moment to consider said action, we come to the conclusion that it is sensible on every level. When there is something in your home that no longer serves a purpose, but you are not able to rid yourself of what do you do? Up to the attic. I argue that Canada, as our attic, is the perfect place to buy an Island to use as a prison for those convicted of crimes worthy of capital punishment* after the appeals have been exhausted..

To contain these men we will build a large concrete wall. We will drop them from an airplane with a parachute into the "landing zone" of the island and leave the decision to them as to the opening or refraining to open the chute.

I also propose that we use this island to perform an experiment about society and instincts to survive. We will place two very large Pinatas in the island a red pinata and a blue pinata. I thought about a black and white pinata, but well... That was just wrong. Each side will be given one weapon. The weapon will be chosen by the American Public by way of polling and is to be exclusively produced by NERF. Inside the pinata of the opposing team's color we will place a "get out of jail free" card from the monopoly board game. Retrieving the card will have no reward at all, but they will be lead to believe that it will liberate them from their captivity on the island. Each team captain will be shot upon loss of control of his pinata.

The coverage will be televised.

This, is my proposed form of eliminating crime... Or at least criminals.


*I consider these actions to be: murder, rape, selling Richard Simmons videos, and producing peppermint flavored soda. (see previous entry)

Sheer stupidity

So many headlines I could incorporate into this topic, but I will refrain in order to focus on the issue at hand.

I would consider myself an impulsive buyer. I have half a dozen of everything in the world that proves that. The second season of Rocky and Bullwinkle is the classic example used by my family. As I stroll down the aisles of any store it's like the products shout out to me begging me to purchase them, some admittedly more appealing than others. Unfortunately these small cries have a semi-hypnotic effect upon my feeble human mind. The most recent proof of such being my excursion to the gas station today for a free item.

The straw.

The Albertson's gas station is across the street from my place of employment. The careless staff at Carl's Jr. either forgot or intentionally did not give me a straw, and I will NOT be made a fool of sucking on the top of a plastic lid in front of my co-workers. My purpose was clear. Retrieve straw and return. The door swung open and I calmly strolled down one of the aisles to make it seem as though I was interested in anything they had to offer while slowly inching my way closer to my objective. Tiny voices shouted from the shelves, much like stadiums to these infernal bastard candies. I turned to look back, mistake. The voices continued screaming and a strange milky way caught my eye. I fell into it's 2 for 2$ trance and the battle was lost. While my primary objective was still achieved, my wallet suffered a casualty.

I tell this tale only to set up the following example of my slavery to this addiction of throwing money where it has no business being. The identity of the following product will be withheld until the end of the story to create an anti-climatic end to the story.

Up the aisle I walked, once again tormented by tiny voices from ad campaigns. Some loud, sharp cries; some soothing promises of full flavor with no calories. It's unfair. I am at a disadvantage. "What if I cover my ears to bock out the shouting?" "Stop yelling at me!" These thoughts plague me, but I must control it lest the public be lead to believe I am crazy, which I obviously am not.

A voice.

"Two things that don't belong together in the same bottle!"

This is new....

"You know I can't taste good, but you want me anyways."

Whatever...

"I'm in your cart."

So you are.

Why was I interested in such a self-loathing approach to marketing? I may never know. But as I open the bottle and put it to my lips I realize that it was no exaggeration. Perhaps the cure to my impulsive buying has been found.

This story brought to you by © Snow Sparkling Mint Beverage.

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Back from a long recess

It seems that I frequently become motivated and just as quickly unmotivated to continue blogging. I feel that mostly it is because I lack a cause, something that I am passionate about to really get me going. It could be my ignorance of several pressing issues on which I would like to comment. Whatever the reason, it happens. I believe that I will forever continue to post a small entry and then let time pass me by before entering another, a thing I am willing to do, yet somewhat ashamed of.

There are a few things that have caught my interest lately which I will attempt to address in this short entry of a weblog never read.

1-Flatbread Sammys from Quiznos
Lame. The black angus sammy truly was tasty. I would recommend it to anyone who is looking for an extremely tasty sandwich the size of a snickers bar. Granted, the advertising campaign is 2 bucks and under 200 calories I was expecting more from a Quiznos sub. Alas, there is proof that you pay for what you get.

2-Blueberry Pomegranate (Jones)
Great drink. The blueberry is a little overpowering, but who's to say that is a bad thing? Certainly not I. Nothing better than a Jones blueberry pomegranate while fending off the heartless.


3-(lack of) Dave Matthews Magical Brownies ice cream
I'm not sure if I am pissed off at Ben and Jerry or wal-mart. I do know, however, that I am upset with whoever made the call to stop carrying/distributing this lovely wonder of a product to my local supercenter. Now I have to go to target to buy it... That is a whole like 5 minute drive. This is tyranny I tell you, tyranny.

4-Stupid people who blog and then ask other people to read it.
Nuff said. Thanks for heeding my advice and wasting these short moments of your life reading this. Hopefully one day I will have something interesting to say.


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Everyone's a rapper

Really, honestly, stardom intrigues me. I am impressed and ever fascinated by the world of those who are held on a pedestal as the famous. Constantly they amaze me as they successfully switch form career to career because of their merit. Surprisingly versatile these people are. The transitions range from small, such as Broadway to Hollywood, to the extreme, such as WWF to governer of Minnesota. Let us examine some of these "shapeshifting" beings.

Dwayne Johnson- started as a football player for the NCAA Miami Hurricanes. Shortly thereafter, he joined the WWE (then WWF) as a professional wrestler known as "The Rock". Then, again, he changed careers to become an actor. Truly versatile.

Arnold Schwarzenegger- Austrian body builder turned actor turned Governator.

Adam Carolla- From carpet cleaner to boxing trainer to radio host to television persona.

Will Smith- Rapper, "Fresh Prince", Movie star.

While these are a few of the success stories, there is one transition that is very elusive. The ANYTHING turned rapper. There is one man who seeks to change this and his name is, you guessed it, Bill Cosby. Hey, hey, hey, it's MC Cosby. (pronounced em-see not Mc like a Mcdonald's sandwich.... Although if you put him on a biscuit with egg.... Nevermind) Recent reports have shown that Bill Cosby is going to record a rap album about very serious, though provocative issues. He says there will be no profanity, nor will there be any degrading words towards women, which raises the question, "how is this a rap album?" At any rate, it proves to be interesting. For the story as I read it please visit This Link.

For another failed rap album check this out:
The worst rap ever

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Cheesy, Crunchy, Chewy, SUBSTANDARD

My rant tonight will be largely directed towards the Cheesy gordita crunch sold by a certain retailer of tacos and taco accessories. Every time I grace this wonderful establishment I am pleased to see that there is a new menu offering, which was my reaction last night as I pulled up and ordered a Cheesy gordita crunch. I am the biggest Taco Bell fan in the world, (literally I think I am rivaling others in size of my midsection and I call out all who believe otherwise to a Taco Bell challenge) but was disappointed with the product. I didn't think it was sufficiently cheesy, crunchy, OR chewy. Granted you can put a little mild sauce on to doctor it up nicely, but for what food item does that not ring true? In closing, Cheesy gordita crunch you have disappointed me and long shall it be before I order one of your kind again.


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I frickin' did it

Yes, I did it.

I went into subway today, my new guilty pleasure, to get my veggie delite on my break from work. As I turned the corner, I knew something would happen as my eye caught a glimpse of the girl I have been "crushing on" for sometime. I went through and ordered my sandwich. Of course we avoided eye contact as we always do, and it was time to pay. I decided for whatever reason I would get the combo with apples and a bottled coke. She got my bottled coke, took my money, and then got ready to make another one, but wait... NO APPLES. I asked her for some and at that moment it hit me, I had finally done it. I made her get nervous and screw up. My friends I feel accomplished and now I just have to close the deal. This has got to be the proudest moment of my week.

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Band practice, spaghetti, and tomato intoxication

It’s hard starting up as a small band. Recently our practices have been going late into the night. I’m getting better on guitar, Will is doing fine on the drums (and singing), and our search for a bass player continues. Last night after about 2 hours (from 10 to midnight) my eyes hurt from reading the music. My ears hurt from listening to Drewbertt attempting to sing.

Under my beanie my head itched. I’m not sure if that was Danny’s super stiff styling glue which I used to do my hair, or the fact that I washed my hair in their bathroom with hand soap before going to Buca di Beppo. It really looked like gel. Anyways, we are getting better. I need to work on my stage presence. I don’t move the guitar nearly enough and I don’t move my body much either. The road to stardom is long, but it will pay off in the end, and when you see us there on stage pouring our hearts into our music and cannot help but tear up due to the emotion of our performance you will know that it was worth it.


Buca was freaking great! Our menu spread was not anything like unto the gluttonfests of old, but the table was decently covered with lovely tasty Italian goodness. My favorite of the night was the Penne Arrabbiata. Penne in spicy tomato sauce with Italian sausage. Freaking amazing. The Fettuccine Supremo was good, but I am not a big fan of the Alfredo sauce over at Buca di Beppo, it doesn’t have enough Parmesan cheese for me. The Chicken Parmigiana was awesome as well. I was a little saddened that we did not get any appetizers, but like I say it was not at all like the trips to Buca of old. The Chocolate Cannoli once again proved to be my favorite dessert. I ended up on a pasta high that lasted about an hour afterwards and brought the night home (until 10 that is) with a little Godfather. Nothing makes you feel the holiday spirit more than watching Michael Corleone dispose of his enemies.

And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, was my Wednesday night.

Until next time, check out this website and peruse. Buca di Beppo Menu


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